An Introduction.
I feel at fault for my consistent lack of positive community alteration. I say I'm a feminist, I preach equality, yet... what do I do for the women around me? Do I judge them, and secretly wish I were them behind a screen scrolling endlessly throughout the night? Do I refer to the term "bitch" as in my friend? Do I suggest hanging out with those who support me, yet never make time to actually see them?
What do I do for the women around me?
After spending the most of the past hour reading female child abuse and rape stories on globalcitizen.com, I came to the realization that I, too, am a woman. I, too, have been raped, assaulted, victimized, and belittled. I can confirm with dead eyes and a scattered heart that I am a part of the #metoo movement. Eventually, I'll share my story. For now, a solid introduction will have to do.
I want this to be my first post because I was raised by a strong, single mother. The joy and exhilaration I get when watching women succeed is one of the biggest parts of my personality -- I know no different. From as young as I can remember, I would watch my mother get ready in the morning, putting mousse through her curly locks, and finding just the right outfit to wear off the tears from the night before. I never realized how hard she fought for me to not realize how hard she was fighting. My parents divorced when I was five, for the best. My dad quickly remarried to a woman much younger than him, took their business assets, and left my mom penniless. He was an egocentric mass manipulator who just recently got out of jail. We have a decent relationship now.
If you're keen to having divorced parents, you know that there's court specified visitation periods -- such as summer, every other weekend, holidays, and so on. The summer visitations were the worst. My dad was a millionaire, and cared very little to actually spend time with me. Instead he'd do cocaine, have mansion parties, and lock me in a bedroom until the party was over. He kept a gun on the back of the toilet at all times, and champagne in the pool table room on the second floor - right next to the room with the tanning beds, and sauna. I wasn't allowed to have a door in my bedroom from age 6-7 so that I didn't sneak out to call my mom to tell her what was actually happening in this horrid house. I was locked up more times than I can count on two hands. When the two-week summer visitation was over, I told my mom everything. Meanwhile, she'd been working 50+ hour weeks just for me to shop at Limited Too, and not Salvation Army.
My dad was powerful. Any attorney that my mom tried to hire, my dad's would knock her out of the water. Summer visitation's like this happened for two year's twice a year. Sometimes there would be blood dripping out of this then-wife's nose. There could only be two reasons why.
My dad stopped talking to me for three years straight. No phone calls on my birthday, no "Merry Christmas." Nothing. I was okay with that.
I went from a three floor mansion, to sharing one bedroom with my mom at my grandparents house.
I'm writing this because this is my earliest memory of watching an incredibly strong woman wither away because of the trust she put into a man -- only for her strength to pay off a decade later. She never stopped believing in me, and I never stopped believing in her.
I was never taught hierarchy in class, nor was I taught to categorize. I was taught strength and nothing less. "Persistence, and follow through." my mom drilled into my head. This is who I am today.
Every woman has a unique story, some worse than others. My mother's success story is much more detailed than this, but my point is that if you were to meet her, you'd have no idea how hard we had it, and how hard she fought for me. Similar to the women around you.
So what do I do for the women around me? I smile.
At the gas station, I smile. At the nail salon, I smile. When I see a woman post or say something I disagree with, I smile. You don't have to give much of yourself, in order for you to make an impact on someone else's day, mood, or even week. I whole heartedly believe that the energy you put into this world, is the energy you get out of this world. Be a light, and you will shine. Give what you can, but don't wear yourself out. It's okay.
You are here for a reason, and I will do whatever I can to support you.
My DM's are always open.
Men - Don't fucking ask me to smile, I'm savin' it for my ladies.
This post is dedicated to my mom, and the rest of my family who have helped get me to where I am today. Everything I do with every waking breath is for them, specifically for my mom and sister. My ambition stems from giving my family the life they deserve.
The sky is the limit. I'll meet you there.
-
AA | XX
